I hadn’t realised it’d ever left, but that feeling’s back and I’m in love with it

I relived the past last night
But you weren’t there, and it was horrible.
I’d do anything for this time last year. I’d do it all again in a heartbeat.

So my mum finally came home last night only to be rushed to a&e again a few hours later. I should be there. What the fuck do I do? What the fuck is going on? Literally all of my stability is fucking crumbling around me and I can’t take it anymore.